Hard Times, Tender Moments

This last month has been a tough one for me. You know how that is - sometimes there are good reasons for it, and sometimes there aren't, but some months (or days or weeks or years) are just that way: hard.

I don't admit this in order to receive advice - the truth is that I've read way more than my share of internet articles and blogs claiming to have come up with formulas for dealing with the tricky parts of life. (Thank you, Pinterest... P.S. I'm breaking up with you. You make me feel inadequate, and it's killing me.) And I'm really not even looking for pity or sympathy - sheesh, many of you guys who actually read this thing are my sweetest friends and family, and you are already the best. ever. 


Honestly, I felt compelled to make this confession for two reasons: 


(a) There may be one or two of you out there who've also fallen prey to the nonsensical idea that there are a billion, zillion others in the world who are super creative and handy with a paintbrush and power tool, who cook healthy meals from scratch for themselves and their families, who memorize Scripture all the time, who exercise regularly and sleep appropriate amounts of time, who take awesome photos of their kids (or other people's kids) and find perfect ways to display them - and who still have time and energy to write blog posts about all of that. I want to stand in the gap and say, "That does not describe me. At all." I do my best, but I hope you know that it's often paltry. And, I think you'll agree, that's just fine.


(b) Hard times tend to send darknesses that seem to consume the light. But they don't consume the Light - nor the little "night lights" that He sets up for us as reminders of Him (forgive me if this is an awful metaphor - I just can't help it, and once again, I'm gonna roll with it). Today, I made myself look for the night lights in my life right now - identifying just a few moments that stand out as really good, and I was so happy to think of them that I couldn't keep from sharing them with you:

1. Sarah is a terrific snuggler - it may be one of her spiritual gifts - and there is nothing so lovely as holding her close against my chest as she relaxes into sleep, often humming along to the hymn that I'm softly singing.
2. Luke can grin like a crocodile, and I love it. He also giggles with abandon, and it's marvelous.
3. Sometimes P and I laugh together about something one of the kids did, or something on TV, or even some joke we've made, and it makes me feel so lucky to have someone with whom I can share so much unadulterated joy.

Every moment with Sarah isn't a snuggle, and Luke's grins aren't always what I'm hoping to see from him (the wily, unrepentant fox). And even an hilarious couple like P and myself can't laugh all the time... But wow, I'm so thankful for those moments, for in them I am reminded of what I believe to be true: we were Created by a Love so deep that it outstretches our imagination, and our Maker desires good things for us, not to harm us but to give us hope and a future.

It may look dark for now, but the Light is coming...