WATCH THIS, MOMMA!!!
Lord, save me from having to watch one more replay of Flight of the Paper Airplane, or Jumping of the Little Feet.
In my heart, I do want to see it all again and again - and again. I don't want to miss (or forget) a single one of these moments. I want to Be Here, and I want them to know that's where I'll always be: Here.
But some days, man. Some days.
Some days, I am very tired, tired in all of my being, and some days, I am doing the best I can to get oatmeal on the breakfast table (and perfectly prepared, according to an extremely particular young client). I am doing the best I can to be sure everyone has shoes on (or that the shoes are at least on the floorboard) when we buckle into the carseats. I am doing the best I can to keep reading them stories, and to keep leading them patiently (or maybe not so patiently) back to bed when they've escaped. I am doing the best I can to provide suggestions about where we might go to eat out for dinner, since the kitchen is closed until further notice - unless you want a PB&J? I can still do that with some flair.
Some days, I feel all of these things, and then promptly wallop myself for whining so much when I only have two kids. And a lovely house. And the world's best husband. And a paycheck each month. And plenty of food, and clothes, and perhaps the world's largest assortment of bedsheets. And And And And And And....
But I am trying to abandon the "beatin' myself up" game. I am trying to remember that perfection isn't what this is all about. And I'm choosing to believe that on those Some Days, the Lord is reminding me of how much I need Him for breath, for movement, for joy, for peace, for life. The Lord is reminding me that I cannot do it on my own, even though I have the best used minivan that money can buy. He is pushing me off the ledge so that I can freefall into His arms.
"Watch this, Momma - did you see that?? It went [hand motion + sound] and then [hand motion + sound]!!!!!!!!!!"
"Sooooo cool, Luke!" Best I can do.
"Momma, do you want to see that drop? Do you want to see it - again?" [A "drop" is the same thing as a jump, in Sarah's wonderful world of precision language. It makes a lot of sense, really.]
"Yes, please!" I so hope that my smile looks more genuine than it feels...
In my heart, I do want to see it all again and again - and again. I don't want to miss (or forget) a single one of these moments. I want to Be Here, and I want them to know that's where I'll always be: Here.
But some days, man. Some days.
Some days, I am very tired, tired in all of my being, and some days, I am doing the best I can to get oatmeal on the breakfast table (and perfectly prepared, according to an extremely particular young client). I am doing the best I can to be sure everyone has shoes on (or that the shoes are at least on the floorboard) when we buckle into the carseats. I am doing the best I can to keep reading them stories, and to keep leading them patiently (or maybe not so patiently) back to bed when they've escaped. I am doing the best I can to provide suggestions about where we might go to eat out for dinner, since the kitchen is closed until further notice - unless you want a PB&J? I can still do that with some flair.
Some days, I feel all of these things, and then promptly wallop myself for whining so much when I only have two kids. And a lovely house. And the world's best husband. And a paycheck each month. And plenty of food, and clothes, and perhaps the world's largest assortment of bedsheets. And And And And And And....
But I am trying to abandon the "beatin' myself up" game. I am trying to remember that perfection isn't what this is all about. And I'm choosing to believe that on those Some Days, the Lord is reminding me of how much I need Him for breath, for movement, for joy, for peace, for life. The Lord is reminding me that I cannot do it on my own, even though I have the best used minivan that money can buy. He is pushing me off the ledge so that I can freefall into His arms.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Amen! Me too Bekah, me too...
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